Monday, 19 March 2012

Jordan's Autobiography

This is Jordan's first draft of his autobiography. Can you give him any feedback and feed forward on how he could make it even better?


I was born in 2003 and my birthday is on April 11th.I was born in Palmerston North. Before I started school i had chicken pox when i was little and i had them all over my body. When I was three I went to Australia and i went on a roller coaster and every time I got off it I was crying and I always wanted to go back on it. When I was little I cut my head open a little bit because when my brother was giving me a piggy back I fell off and cut my head open and they had to glue my head back together.

3 comments:

  1. Ignite @ Midnight19 March 2012 at 10:45

    Good job telling us what happened when you were born, Jordan. I like the way you explained about your brother giving you a piggy back.

    When you said "they had to glue my head back together" who is they? I think you could tell us a bit more about how it felt when you cut your head open and what happened. Did they have to use stitches to hold your head together because your head is heavy and glue might not stick.

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  2. great job Jordan. I like the start.:)

    I think you might need more detail.

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  3. Aroha Grate story Jordan but remeber next time to add more detail.

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