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Wonderful writing Bella. I enjoyed reading your story and the great similes you used helped me to imgaine just what it was like for you.
Wow Bella, what a fantastic descriptive story! You really shared how you felt before, during and after your race. I can tell it is your first draft because there are a lot of spelling mistakes! How will you find out the correct spelling of words you are unsure of?
Your story was magnificent. I get a grate piture in my head.
Great descriptive writing Bella, you made the reader feel that they were almost running the race too.
Wow Bella! This is a fantastic descriptive piece of writing! I felt as if I was at the race with you. You use similes really well throughout the writing. I can't wait to read it when you have finished all your checking! Well done! Aunty Ginny x
Cool story Bella this is sooooooo awesome by see you at school =]